-I did some more intercambios. This time out in the countryside of Romero. Picture this, me, riding a half hour on a dirt road to a farm out in the country side. There I was able to put on some big rubber boots, roll up my sleeves with a shovel, and clean up the pig sty. I had heard the expression "your room is a pig sty" for the better portion of 20 years of my life. But I never knew what that really meant until I actually cleaned one. It was an adventure, and I smiled and laughed the entire time as we cleaned the farm. Cows, Pigs, ducks, horses and everything. I love intercambios because it allows me to see a lot more of the mission.

-Wednesday we had interviews with the president. Afterward he decided to accompany Elder Gonzalez and me out to our appointment with Lino and Cintia. We talked about receiving the Priesthood and sharing the gospel. It was a spiritual lesson, even more so with the President there.

-Friday we had intercambios with the assistants. It was a crazy day coming off the other intercambios we were just on, and felt like I was all over the place. We were able to get the baptismal interviews done for Ludmila and Alan.

-Saturday Ludmila and Alan were baptized. It was an incredibly spiritual service. They were both very prepared. The night of the interview Ludmila found one of the tithing slips by the bishop’s office and asked us when she could pay her tithing. Sandra, her mom informed us that they had both been saving up to pay ever since we taught them about tithes and offerings a week ago. It`s good to see them develop positive habits early. We filled up the font a bit before the baptism with only hot water, as it usually has trouble heating up just to luke warm (example, baptism of Damian, cold water) and so we didn`t see the need to turn on the cold water. As Elder Gonzalez tried to step in the font he realized it was scalding hot. Attempting to avoid a baptism boil we spent about 15 minutes putting cold water in the font.

-Analia continues to progress fantastically. She came to church again this weekend (second week in a row since she was baptized). We already have taught her the 10 commandments, word of wisdom, and all the first two lessons. She is on fire, and should make it to her baptismal date. It`s becoming a little complicated as the baptismal service is scheduled for the same day as the adult session of stake conference. So we`re still trying to figure out the best course of action. We`ll probably just move it back a week.

We have a great companionship with fantastic members. I love life right now. Thankfully I`m extremely busy. You can always tell when I`m doing great when I`m in a hurry. The work is amazing. We`ll be looking for some new families this week as Alan and Ludmila just got baptized so it`s back to finding mode.

This week had a lot of running around. It all started right where I left off last email... pizza libre.

I ate a bit too much, and subsequently was fighting stomach issues for the better portion of the week. But nothing that kept me inside. I was able to leave to work every day, and by now, thankfully, I`m back to eating all you can eat Argentine steaks. Something I just finished doing before sitting down to write this email.

On Tuesday, the Elders from Chascomus were up at our Pension in La Plata to get ready to travel to capital with us on Wednesday. We did an Intercambio with them in our area, and were lucky enough to have a very successful night. I was placed with Elder Fillmore, a greenie straight out of Burley Idaho. He is a pretty typical big smile missionary, and it was fun to feel the energy that the new kids bring to the table. It always motivates me to be a better missionary. We were able to contact a reference of a member, Augustina who was very willing to talk with us. Her mom had listened to the discussions a few years back, but had passed away a year ago. The missionaries had subsequently disappeared. A lot had changed since then, but the good news is, she is married not just living with her boyfriend so we have a lot of hope she`ll progress.

Wednesday, we traveled up to Banfield, close to Adroguè, about 2 hours in train to the leadership counsel. We were able to discuss goals for the zone, focuses, etc. The most interesting development is that Elder Foster, second counselor in the area presidency, will be coming to tour the mission and give some zone conferences. We were promised that he would be visiting apartments, examining our agendas, area books, and having personal interviews with a select few. The words "If ye are prepared ye shall not fear" came to mind. Even though the idea of a general authority flipping through my area book and making sure my kitchen is clean still is making my blood run a bit cold. We are definitely doing some cleaning.

Thursday we ended up in intercambios yet again. This time I was shipped out to La Cumbre to work with Elder Arario, the district leader. We had some very spiritual lessons, and I got to ride my bike again. The best part was lunch with a family from Peru, who cooked my favorite, Loma Saltado. French fries, rice, and beef. We had a solid day, taught with members, and were able to find some new investigators in the morning.

Unfortunately, the baptism of Ludmila and Alan is going to be postponed until next week. We had a lot to teach them and very little time to teach it. Additionally the times we did go to teach, the kids were gone, over at their dad`s house. So it`s been a bit tricky to find them.

Lino and Cintia continue progressing as best as they can. They are faithful church members, minus the member part. It was good to see Lino in sacrament meeting. He explained to us that a friend wanted him to go fishing, but he knew that the Lord wanted him to be in church, so that`s where he had to be.

The biggest development this week was a woman named Analia. She lives between Tolosa and Ensenada. Mostly here in Tolosa, with her aunt who doesn`t want to know anything about the church. So we have to teach outside. Elder Gonzalez was able to find her on his intercambio Tuesday. We went to the follow up appointment and had felt a strong spirit. We talked about baptism, and she agreed for the end of the month. I would be lying if I didn`t say I was skeptical with regards to the validity of that date, but Sunday she showed up for all three hours of church. We`re very excited to see her progress.

Other than that there`s not much to inform. We`ve been doing a lot of finding, a lot of walking, a lot of clapping. Thankfully these haven`t been in vain and we`ve been fortunate enough to be blessed with some very good progressing investigators. Sunday we had a training class to help members share the gospel. We talked about the importance of references and some fears about sharing the gospel. At the end we divided people up and did practices just like a district meeting. It was wonderful to see the ward catching the spirit of missionary work. We already have seen the fruits in the form of several references.

I conclude with my testimony. I know this church is true. I know that Joseph Smith knelt in a grove of trees and saw God and Jesus Christ. I know that the Savior lives, and that He died for us so that we can repent. I guess these are the same things that I said before the mission, but now I really do know.

Big changes in Argentina. If any of you have been watching the news. It all started on Wednesday when the entire country shut down for a nation-wise census. Everyone indoors. We had to wait for the survey people to come and get our info, even though we aren`t technically Argentines. It was a fun experience. Unfortunately, this week, the President Kristina, suffered the death of her husband, the former president Kirshner. There`s a chance we might be seeing a change of president here. A lot of stuff just stayed closed for the weekend as a result of the combined census/presidential situation. Relatively speaking, things are back to normal now. I never have really picked up on the politics here.

My first full week in Tolosa was filled with success.

We have been teaching a lot, and walking a lot less. Something that is good considering how this area is laid out. If we want to get anywhere, it usually has to be on foot considering that the busses take a considerable long time to stop. It makes planning a lot more difficult. Also it`s difficult on my shoes. Throw in 4-6 cheap inserts for my shoes with my Christmas package if you wouldn`t mind Mom.

I`m not sure how they do it in other places in the world, but here in Argentina, cars are basically unheard of. You can go by taxi, but that`s pretty expensive. The best thing you can do is go by bus, train, or on foot.

I love eating here. I really do. I never realized how much I like to eat food. Me and food. Additionally I eat a lot more than I did before the mission. I just got done eating nearly a pizza and a half in my favorite pizza buffet Pizza libre. Those faithful email followers should be able to identify pizza libre with my first two transfers of the mission. All you can eat delicious Argentine pizzas. Featuring such hits toppings as: eggs, fries and catsup, pineapple, hot dogs and mustard, blue cheese, and many more. My personal favorite is the French fry pizza. But I`ve grown to love egg as well. When I get home I`ll make you an egg pizza. My favorite of all time is the Brasileña back in Adrogue. It`s ham and mozzarella cheese with full rings of pineapple on top. But instead of tomato sauce they melt brown sugar on top. I love food. I love food so much.....

Ok, a bit about the area progress.

Lino and his family are still waiting on a divorce. We got a hold of a church lawyer down here that is willing to help. The problem is Lino`s wife Cintia got married in Paraguay. So we have to work things out over there BEFORE we can do anything over here. The family is faithful in the ward. More faithful than some of the most faithful members. They read as a minimum a half hour-hour in the scriptures as a family daily. They asked us recently what their 10 year old can start doing now to prepare for the mission. I love seeing people happy as they live the gospel.

The other family is Sandra and her kids Ludmila and Alan. Both of them were able to come to church on Sunday, so if all goes well we`ll be having the baptism of both kids on Saturday. It has been fun teaching them for the past two weeks. Ludmila gets everything and she loves to read and pray. Alan is a bit more rebellious, but he should still make it for Saturday.

Aside from that we have been working on our finding efforts and have been guided multiple times to people ready to receive the gospel. Last Friday was hands down the best morning of my mission. It was looking like it was going to rain, which is unfortunate because many times rain=no entering in any houses whatsoever. We went to a part of the area that Elders hadn`t been in for a while. Really tranquilo. Lots of field. I could see all the way to Ensenada. Anyways, we were looking for some former investigators when I saw an open door and began doing a contact. It was raining a bit, and after a short conversation the man let us in. He invited his wife to come and participate and we had a brief lesson to find them. They were mostly concerned for their family, as they had lost a son a few years back. We were able to talk a bit about that. They were a very picturesque find. No smoke smell in the house. Married. Golden. We left, and about fifteen minutes later decided to clap a house at the end of the neighborhood. We were again let in. It was a woman who had listened to the missionaries before, and had enjoyed the lessons, but had moved and lost touch with the church. She had two children present who we also found. Another family... also married. THEN about fifteen minutes before lunch I thought we would just go straight to our appointment, but Elder Gonzalez wanted to clap again. So we did. And we found AGAIN. Another woman with her four children. Also married. 9 new investigators + 3 families= Best morning ever...

I`m high on life here in Tolosa. It`s beautiful and the people are wonderful. I`m grateful for the spirit. I know we`re led by it every day as missionaries. The work isn`t possible without it. I know the church is true. I love you all. Thank you for your help, prayers, and support.

Green trees. Chirping birds. Lengthy fields.

I`ve come home.

Ok, so the actual city center I work in isn`t as Naturesque as one would hope. But it`s at the very least more quiet. Welcome to Tolosa. Which features the northernmost suburbs of La Plata. If I leave the boundaries of my area and walk through the fields about a mile or so, I`m in Ensenada.

A little bit about La Plata.

La Plata is actually the capital of the Provencia of Buenos Aires. In other words the actually city Buenos Aires serves as the Capital of Argentina, but the capital of the Provence Buenos Aires is La Plata. Go to Google maps and you`ll surely be able to find it. Zoom in on the capital, then scroll southeast for a bit and you should be able to find it.

La Plata is has a distinct lay out as opposed to the layout of the other cities in Argentina. It`s basically a big square. It starts from the center, and has streets expanding outward, each with its own number. There are no street names, only numbers. In order to make transport a bit more efficient, there are four giant diagonals that inscribe the square layout. It`s very different from the other areas I`ve been in, in and of that every one of the streets has a corresponding number instead of street names. It`s a bit harder to understand people when they spit an address out at me and it comes out a series of jumbled numbers, diagonals, and apartments. Very distinct.

Tolosa is... well hermosa. It`s beautiful here. When designing the city, they made a conscious effort to plant trees everywhere so as to subdue the urbanization. So it is a bit easier on the eyes than other places.

I received a warm welcome to a wonderful ward. There are plenty of people here willing to leave with the missionaries, and the excellent missionaries of the past have been working well with the members here. We don`t have a church that actually corresponds with our area, we have to take a bus downtown to where we share with La Plata 1. It makes it a little trickier to commit people to sacrament meeting, but we still have a fairly good attendance.

This week passed by as a blur. With the transfer date in the middle of the week, I`ve just been trying to get my feet on the ground. Even though I`ve only been here 4 days, it feels like a week. I`m grateful for this P-day, and a good chance to settle in a bit. This morning we did a bit of cleaning, a bit of buying, and a bit of resting to prep for the rest of the week.

The investigators here are great. Sandra is a recent convert. She only knew the missionaries for three weeks before she got baptized. She`s about 25 years old and dropped smoking, and got separated from her boyfriend all in that small time to get baptized. She`s got an amazing testimony. Now we`re teaching her kids Ludmila and Matias. 10 and 8. Both very bright. If all goes well they should get baptized next Saturday.

Other investigators include a golden family of dry members. Dry member is the phrase we use here to describe people who are already members of the church that are only missing stepping in the font. Lino, his wife Cintia, and their two children. It`s the picture perfect family. They have been listening to the missionaries for about three months and go to church every week. Their kids are even participating in the upcoming primary program. The bad news is they have a complicated divorce case. We have to communicate with the area lawyer to see if we can work it out so they can be baptized in the coming months. But it is going to be difficult.

My companion Elder Gonzalez is one of the best teachers I`ve worked with on my mission. At first it was a bit hard for me to understand him as it`s been a while since I`ve had a comp from South America. He comes from Uruguay, which is good as his accent mimics that of the typical Buenos Aires citizen. But he talks a bit faster and a bit quieter. The good news is this has been fantastic for my Spanish. After so much time around English speakers in the offices, it`s nice to be out here, isolated with only Spanish speakers. I can feel my language improving daily.

Elder Gonzalez is a hard worker, very diligent. I finished my training in Ensenada with Elder Bushman, and then left. Elder Bushman in turn trained Elder Gonzalez. So I`m about two transfers older than him. You wouldn`t know it. The kid is a prodigy. I learn much more from him than he learns from me. It`s rare to see such a good balance of teaching excellence, humility, and attitude. He does little things to serve me, like shine my shoes, or buy the bread for the day. Little stuff. It`s been an example to me of how I can be a better companion, and in turn motivates me to look for ways to serve him. So much of mission happiness depends on having a good relationship with your companion, so I`m very happy to have this time to work with him.

Well that`s about it for my situation right now. I can only say that I`m happy. This transition to an area is coming a lot easier than the rest. I`ve been through the drill before, so I know that the switch hurts for the first week or so, but things get better. That perspective has helped me a lot when I`m tempted to look back and say "I wish I was still in Adroguè" or "In Adroguè we had this thing or that thing." I know that this is where the Lord wants me to be. And there`s nowhere else I would rather be in the mission right now. I know this church is true. And this work is guided by revelation. Thank you for your letters and support.

Today Good Things Are Happening. Today I know God Loves Me.

Back to the basics.

I think it was President Uchtdorf in conference that shared the story about Vince Lombardi coaching. He would show his players the pigskin and say "this is a football. You throw it, kick it, and get it into the end zone to get points." Then he would show them the gridlines and say "this is the field, it`s 100 yards rectangular etc." I`m translating from what I heard in Spanish. But the point was true excellence comes not in mastering isolated complex aspects of concepts. Excellence is true mastery of the basics. I think the Karate kid does a good job of illustrating that too.

Sounds like the cougars went back to the basics, and it paid off.

For those of you who don`t know what`s going on in the mission field right now, there are a lot of changes with the 8 lessons. These aren`t given to us to replace Preach my Gospel. Preach my Gospel is divinely inspired and contains all the principles we need to become the successful servants the Lord wants us to be. The problem is it`s easy to get caught up in isolated aspects of Preach my Gospel, where true excellence in missionary work only comes after mastering the basics. Thus we have received 8 simplified lessons that teach us our priorities. Like the Doctrine of Christ and our missionary purpose. The role of the Spirit in conversion. Revelation through prayer, the Book of Mormon, and Church attendance. As servants of the Lord, we must have the basics down.

I saw that as an answer to my many prayers of how I could help my investigators better progress. I saw a big change in the way I taught this week as opposed to last week. The biggest change came from a focus on baptism. Nearly all of my lessons last week related to baptism in some way or another. I saw big changes in people as they considered making a covenant with God. It`s just a better way to teach. Why keep people in the dark where you can let them know your goals up front.

I had some personally uplifting experiences this week. Luis unfortunately has in a lot of ways dropped off the map. He works a lot more now, and the smoking hasn`t gotten better. It`s unfortunate. Additionally Veronica didn`t make it to church yesterday. She was going to get baptized next week, but postponed again to the 23rd. Unfortunately, if everything turns out the way I'm thinking it will I`ll be leaving here on the next transfer date, the 20th. I know that the important thing is Veronica getting baptized, but it`s a baptism I really do want to see... I have faith that everything just has a way of working out the way it`s supposed to. And if I`m transferred out of here before I can see Veronica baptized it will be for a reason.

7 months is a long time to be in an area.

This has been an introspective week for me. As I`m probably leaving here in the next week. I won`t be emailing you until the 20th as the transfer has been placed in the middle of the week for various reasons. So you`ll know my fate the next time I write to you. It`s bizarre to think about living somewhere else in the mission. I know this area better than I know my neighborhood back at home. I have every street within 30 blocks memorized. I`ve had a lot of time to think about it.

After so much time here, it`s led me to think about what I’ve contributed. What my legacy in Adroguè will be. Truth be told, I’m not sure. I went through a little rough spot where I wasn`t sure exactly what I`d done here, or if I had done enough to help the area and my companion. There were two experiences this week that really stood out to me and helped me with that.

The other day we had intercambios with the zone leaders. I was with Elder Hall from California. I had been walking down a street the day prior with Elder Martindale in a bit of a hurry, and upon seeing the houses said to him "we need to come back and clap here some other time." (In Argentina, doorbells are rare, and every house has a gate around it. It`s very impolite to jump the gate. You stand out front and clap your hands then the people come out. Thus we say "clap houses" instead of "knock houses.") I made plans to do that with our intercambio. The following day Elder Hall and I went by and met some rejections, until we arrived at a humbler looking home. We clapped and the woman came out, introducing herself as Norma. After a short door approach we asked if we could come in and say a prayer with her and share a message. Elder Hall added that it would only be about 10 minutes. With some persuasion she let us in.

Norma informed us that she had been too many churches. She had listened to missionaries years ago, but didn`t remember that much. At the present time she was studying the bible with the Jehovah’s witnesses. We started to explain, and Norma had many fantastic questions. Such good questions that our 10 minutes turned into over an hour. She was especially impressed by the first vision, that someone could see God, and that he was a real personage. We told her that she could pray and know it was true. She was really surprised when we told her she could pray, as her current bible study group taught her that she had to know a certain amount of study to offer prayers. We explained that God loves all His children and wants to hear their thoughts and feelings. She began to cry as we talked and said something that filled me with joy.

"This has been the most wonderful 10 minutes in a long time," she wept and laughed. "It`s been a hard couple of weeks, but today, today good things are happening. Today I know that God loves me."

She offered a beautiful prayer about the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon, and the spirit filled the room. It was one of my favorite finding appointments of my mission.

The other day we went to Diego and Yesica, the couple that came to general conference. It was just Yesica there and we had a good charla. She had read a lot in the Book of Mormon, about to the end of 2 Nephi. It was impressive, and we challenged her to solidify that knowledge she already had with prayer. She told us that she didn`t feel like she had to ask God, she just felt it was true. We encouraged her anyway to kneel down and receive the spiritual witness. As we finished up, she stopped to thank us. Telling us she had been meaning to tell us how grateful she was that we had found her family. That her marriage was better and she felt the spirit when we came. She thanked us for all the blessings she had received in the past months, and it made me turn around and thank God. I love to see gratitude in the investigators. It gives me motivation for the bad days. When we`re out in the street getting rejected, when people are slamming the doors or refusing to listen. It`s all worth it to find the one. "Thank you for what you do. I`m happier now than I was before."

May the words of Norma forever echo in the rainy days of my soul. "Today good things are happening. Today I know God loves me."

I love you all, and thank you

Conference

Isn`t it ironic that the first BYU loss to Utah State in over a decade has to happen when I`m obligated to live within sight and sound of a cougar hating aggie fan 24 hours a day 7 days a week? Gary Crowton... I mean Bronco Mendenhall needs to "rebuild" his coaching approach and "raise the bar" a little higher than "The Quest for 2 Wins on the Season"

You can imagine that the emails received alongside my gleeful aggie companion have heavily influenced the start of this email. But in the words of President Uchtdorf "all of God`s children wear the same jersey." It`ll be a good chance for me to put some prophetic council in practice and tear down my pride.

Speaking of general conference, it`s always a chance for me to think a little about home. Not in a trunky way. More of an impressed way. Impressed at the miracle that general conference is. We`re thousands of miles apart, yet we`re watching the same transmission at the same time. We had a good turnout of investigators at the conference so I was watching most of the sessions in Spanish translating back to English. It was amazing how much I understood. They use unfamiliar words, and some of the translators were from Central America, and one from Spain. That darn lisp sure trips up my translation.

Saturday afternoon we had Diego Yesica and their entire family there. They marveled at the counsel received by living prophets. They were astounded by the angelic music, and couldn`t believe that every one of the members of the choir was from the same church, as they still assumed that the church we had was the only one. As the final note sounded on the closing hymn Diego shook his head with a big thumbs up and said the Spanish equivalent of "wow, good call Jensen." They left much edified.

My personal testimony of the modern prophets and apostles was increased as well. As I looked at all those men who I had testified of so much, I couldn`t help but think of it as the difference between our church and the rest. It`s one fantastic display of modern revelation. How blessed we are to sit at the feet of a modern day prophet. This conference more than ever I saw a special unity between the talks. So many focused on the strategies of the devil, the dangers of the natural man, the essential nature of agency and the consequences of our choices.

On Saturday night we got a rare treat. Missionaries from our mission never see the priesthood session live, let alone in English. But with special permission from the mission president, and Elder Jones, the senior couple accompanying us, we were able to stay up and watch it live in English in the offices. When Elder Nelson asked the full time missionaries to stand up, we all stood up with the whole body of the Lord, knowing that thousands of others across the world were shoulder to shoulder with us. I felt the camaraderie of my missionary brothers across the globe and a greater sense of appreciation for those who are making this sacrifice. I know this is the Lord`s work. Elder Jones drove us home that night, and we all felt like it had decisively been the best priesthood session we had ever witnessed. (The seventy from South Africa sounded like Bear Grylls from Man vs. Wild. He even talked about scorpions and stuff ha-ha! Amazing talk!!!)

Earlier this week, we had training for all the mission leaders. District Leaders, Zone Leaders, and Trainers. It was a great opportunity to learn from President Stapley. From Tuesday to Friday we had lessons from 10:30 to 4:00 in the afternoon. We`re learning the 8 new missionary lessons. They basically help us take PMG and simplify the basic principles for application in our work. Like President Uchtdorf explained in the Saturday session, we have to master the basics before we can master the complicated stuff. I felt renewed as a missionary, and a greater desire to apply all these principles.

Unfortunately my time is gone. It was a lot of info this week. Luis and Veronica were left to cool down a little bit, but we got them by the end of the week and things are back to normal. Maria Eva, our baptismal date, was able to attend conference. She loved it. `We`re very excited for her.

Well, yet again, gotta run. Time just went out from under me. I love you all, and hope to hear from you soon. I know the church has been restored. Thomas S. Monson is a true Prophet along with his counselors and the twelve apostles. They are all men of God. Jesus Christ is the head of this church. He is our Savior and Redeemer.

Les amo a todos!

I`ve gotten to know a lot about endurance on the mission. The majority of these thoughts have led me to realize that even if all we can say for ourselves is that we walked out the door in the morning, it`s still saying a lot.

This week I was pondering a lot about what mission success is. What I want to get out of my mission. What I have accomplished thus far, and what I want to accomplish in the coming months. And perhaps more important than "the what" of my mission is "the why." Why did I want to accomplish the things I have accomplished, and why do I want to accomplish my goals for the remainder of the fleeting time that has been left to me. I have discovered on the mission that the "why" is infinitely more important than the "what." It doesn`t matter if we accomplish miracles. Choice are the words of the apostle Paul, "without charity, I am nothing."

This week we moved pensions from my air conditioned paradise, my home for over a fourth of my mission, and went down the street to a brand new apartment. It was fun to have a new place, but the settling in had some undesirable effects on the work. Elder Martindale and I ended up running errands and resolving a lot of temporal matters, like getting our water filter working, and making sure we had a squeegee. By the end of the week we were essentially settled in completely, but there are still the occasional growing pains that accompany the change.

The biggest blow to this week was Luis hitting rock bottom. It had been a long day filled with miscellaneous errands in the morning, and rejections in the evening. Investigators talking about their previous evangelist baptisms and the saving grace of Christ. People just seemed especially disinterested. It was a relief to have Luis and Veronica at the end of the night.

We were trying to teach about 2 Ne 4 and using the strength of the Lord to overcome our difficulties. Luis finally snapped. After nearly 5 months of teaching them, a marriage, and dozen other commitments later, the brick wall of smoking never seemed more insurmountable. Luis protested that nobody in the church is perfect. And he was a lot more righteous than a lot of people. "So why can`t I be baptized? Nobody`s perfect! Just because I smoke doesn`t mean I can`t be baptized. I thought baptism was to clean us. This isn`t what Jesus taught." And then he continued, "If you want to tell me how to live my life, you can stay outside. But this is my choice and my life." Etc. etc. etc.

It was late, I couldn`t feel the spirit. To say that I went back to the apartment discouraged would be an understatement. It was a big setback. Combined with the present circumstances in the area, it was easy to ask God why. Why is missionary work so hard? The heavy burden of the salvation of these persons, not resting upon, but at the very least influenced by the decisions of a couple of teenage boys. I got angry at myself. Why did God let me teach the wrong thing? Why wasn`t I inspired to say other words, or give the lessons in a different order? Or if I was and didn`t listen, why was I given this responsibility in the first place? I knew that I could give myself the answers, but at the same time, I struggled. I feel that I know all of you, the readers well enough, and trust you enough to express to you these personal thoughts and trials of mission work.

My thoughts for the better portion of the weekend, as I reflected on that moment with Luis, were generally reflected in that direction.

I guess in a strange way, I didn`t get a solid answer until yesterday afternoon. As I was walking down the street talking to people. We had a few moderately successful contacts, when I saw an older lady leave from her door to see her son off to work. I complimented her on her beautiful house and began to talk. It wasn`t long into the conversation that I felt something within me, a deep love for the simplicity of her words and the concern for her family I could feel. Naturally, not forced, I offered her the gospel as a solution, and she let us in to offer a prayer with a little persuasion. We had a sweet conversation about the love of God, and the restoration before we left her with a word of prayer. As we walked away, tears filled my eyes as I realized something profound.

"I love her." I said to my companion. "I was able to find that woman, because I can honestly say that I love her."

And suddenly, I realized something deep within me. That I had perhaps looked for over a year for ways to become a successful missionary. I had nearly destroyed myself trying to squeeze out success like the parched juices of an under ripe orange. I might have done successful things, but perhaps not for a successful reason. "The what" was always more important to me than "the why." But last night, I realized something more important than my hair splitting questions and inadequacy from the week before. I realized that I was capable of loving these people, my companion, and this work with all my heart. And that`s the only thing that really matters anyway.